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  “Oh, burn!” Reece said, laughing at Trace's expense. Trace should have known better to mention my height, when his own five foot six frame was a touchy subject for him.

  “Looks like we might get an answer. He's coming this way,” Jenn said with a smile.

  Irrational fear engulfed me. “I've gotta go.” I stuffed my half-eaten lunch back into the brown bag and jumped up from the bench. Darting out of the cafeteria, the tension that had filled me dissipated. I didn't know who he was or why he was interested in me, but my gut told me to run, that anything he had to say was going to disrupt the peace I had finally found.

  Chapter Three

  “You okay?” Reece asked as he followed me out the double doors after school. The afternoon sun blinded me and I let my eyes drift closed as I soaked in the sunshine. Despite the cool breeze, I felt comfortably warm in my short sleeve shirt.

  “Yeah, why?” I glanced sideways at him as we started walking.

  “You just seemed pretty quiet today and you took off at lunch without your finishing your sandwich.” Concern creased his brow. “You can't even blame the food. It was your favorite, Swiss cheese and turkey.”

  “I'm fine. That guy staring at me just creeped me out.”

  “Maybe he thinks you're hot.”

  I shoved my elbow into his ribs. “Ha-ha. I can hear the sarcasm dripping off of that.”

  “Ah, come on, Dani, you're not that bad,” he said, grabbing me from behind in a giant bear hug, laughing loudly. “Some guys like string beans.”

  “Gee, thanks.” I resisted the urge to fight his hold, knowing it would only encourage him to continue the wonderful torture.

  If it had been a dream, I would have gladly stayed in his arms, but this was reality and I refused to delude myself with those thoughts. It was bad enough that I constantly tried to be near him. Reece feeling my suddenly pounding heart was not something I wanted to happen.

  Hearing the disappointment and hurt reflected in my voice, he set me back on the ground. He tugged my backpack from me, shouldering it in a silent effort to make it up to me.

  “I'm sorry. You know you're gorgeous to me.”

  Yeah, gorgeous like a sister. Not exactly the role I wanted to fit.

  “Whatever,” I said, snatching my bag back. For him carrying my bag was nothing, just a simple little courtesy his mom had drilled into him, but for me it meant more than that.

  We reached my front gate and I opened the latch. It was one of those houses with a white picket fence designed for a family with two point five kids and a golden retriever running through the yard. Instead, it was home to an aging couple and a foster kid. I hated thinking of myself like that. The Thompson's did more than foster me. They loved me.

  The gate slammed shut behind us and Reece pulled his keys from his pocket. When I caught mono a few years ago, Paul gave him a key so I wouldn't have to get out of bed to answer the door when he came over after school. The only reason he still had it was a display of the trust Paul had in us. He had no clue I wished Reece would take advantage. Reece unlocked the door and pushed it open.

  I trailed behind him, remembering the events that had led me through that door for the first time.

  It was my eleventh birthday, but no presents awaited me, begging to be opened. No candles melted, unblown. I stood in the kitchen, stirring the soup I was warming. I wished I'd gone to school. At least there someone else would have made me lunch. I hated tomato soup. A month ago, I would have claimed it as my favorite, but after eating it for three weeks straight for lunch and dinner, it took every ounce of concentration not to hurl.

  “Dani?” Mama's voice drifted through the empty apartment from her bedroom. Apart from a wobbly table and two folding chairs, the connecting living and dining areas were bare.

  I left the stove and walked across the small living room to her door. I didn't want to go in there. I knew what she was going to ask. I'd been back with her for three months and each day was worse than the one before.

  I poked my head into the bedroom. “Did you need something, Mama?”

  “Get me my bottle, baby.” She was sprawled across the bed. I don't think she'd moved from there in two days. The odor emanating from the trash beside her, made me think she hadn't even left to use the toilet.

  My fingers clenched the doorframe. She'd been drinking. Carol, my caseworker had told Mama she couldn't drink. It was part of the court order. Mama knew that if she didn't comply they'd take me away again. She'd promised.

  I didn't want to go back to the Abner's or another foster home. They were nice, but I wanted to be with Mama. When I was with her, I could see Jace in the wheat blonde of her hair, in the curve of her lips.

  “Did you hear me, girl? I need my bottle.” The sickly sweetness vanished and in its place was the bitter lashing of a drunk.

  I went to the closet and rummaged through the pile of dirty clothes gathered on the floor. At the bottom was a half-empty bottle. It had been full that morning. The clear liquid sloshed against the sides as I tugged it from its hiding place.

  When I passed her the bottle, she gripped my hand. Tugging me closer, she pressed a kiss to my cheek. The smell of her breath was over powering, the bitter stench of gin mixed with unbrushed teeth.

  “I'm sorry, baby. It's just a little. Tomorrow...I won't need any tomorrow. But I need it today. Just today. I promise.”

  “Sure, Mama.” I pulled away from her, leaving the room and shutting the door behind me. I didn't want to see her like that. When she drank, I couldn't see Jace. Only Daddy.

  The short knock on the door was the only warning I had that change was upon me again. Four hours later, I was in the back of Carol's car. I guess not showing up for school two weeks in a row was enough for someone to call and complain. If I'd known, I would have walked the three miles, even with the snow blanketing the streets.

  I held a white plastic bag on my lap. Inside were my belongings. I kept it packed and hidden under my bed. The first time I'd been picked up, I didn't take anything, sure I'd be back home in a day or two. Three months had passed before I went home. Mama managed to leave most of our things behind at the previous apartment. Never did I want to lose it all again.

  The contents of the bag were simple. An angel Christmas ornament Mama bought me before things changed, a picture of Jace and me on the Christmas after my fifth birthday, and three black notebooks full of songs I'd written.

  The memory faded as I entered the living room. Reece walked through the room, moving as comfortably as he would at home, maybe even more so. Reece's parents demanded and expected perfection, something even I wouldn't use to describe Reece. Where Martha talked a good game, one little sad face was enough to make her melt. The Thompson's were those ideal foster parents, capable of making any child feel at home regardless of what had happened to them and Reece was always willing to suck up sympathy.

  “You're not staring at my butt are you?” Reece asked suddenly.

  “No!” I was glad that at least this time I could deny it truthfully.

  “Well, you better feed me before you get started.”

  “Uh, I'm not doing your homework.”

  “Ah, come on. It's math. You love math.”

  “Which is why I took that specific class last year. I'm not gonna do your homework and mine.”

  “Fine,” he pouted.

  We settled on the couch and opened our books. Within minutes, Reece was heading for the kitchen in search of cookies. From my spot on the couch, I glanced back at the front door.

  Walking through that door the first time had been surreal. Each time I'd gone to a new foster family I'd felt embarrassed, foreign, but this house felt like home. The place had smelled like apple cinnamon, and in the corner had been a massive Christmas tree, decorated in beautiful golds and burgundies.

  Martha and Paul welcomed me with open arms. It had been the first Christmas since Jace died that I didn't cry on Christmas morning. I still missed him, but there was someone there to sho
ulder my pain and not share it.

  Despite Martha's habit of being anal, she gave hugs and kisses like my Grandma used to, and Paul...well, he'd been harder to read. He kept a distance between us for a few months before finally I pressed him into a hug on the day of my first performance.

  Home. I occasionally thought about Mama and what it would be like to live with her again. She had tried a couple times to get me back, but each time she tried less and failed quicker. I didn't want to go back to her anymore. I could see Jace now without her. He stared back at me in the mirror; the line of his jaw, the quirk of his eyebrow, even the clear blue of our eyes.

  Footsteps brought my attention back to Reece as he came back, a mouth full of cookies. I smiled as crumbles rained down onto Martha’s spotless floor.

  “You’re gonna get fat eating like that,” I teased. “Then you’ll really have a hard time getting a date.”

  “Ha ha,” he tried to laugh around the cookie. He swallowed and licked his lips. My stomach quivered. “Then I guess I’d just have to date you.”

  I froze and the silence became one of those uncomfortable things that you wanted to wish yourself away from.

  Deflect. Deflect before he realized that is the one thing you wanted more than anything.

  I prayed for something to come to mind, anything that I could say to end the sickening stillness, but nothing came and I watched the smile slide away, the quiet between us reflected in his face.

  Chapter Four

  The next day I watched Reece disappear around the corner, heading to his economics class. Since his little joke about us dating, I’d been trying to act normal. Maybe I was being too normal considering the odd looks he kept giving me. The nauseating silence that had followed his words had ended with his rumbling stomach and him shoving another cookie in his mouth.

  Wishing I’d made a move or told him exactly what I wanted would have been so much easier than trying to hide, but I couldn’t risk losing Reece.

  I pulled my books from my locker. Going to English class was the absolute last thing I wanted to do. I knew Colin would be there and I had already seen him staring at me from his position down the hall. There was no reason for him to be there. He was just leaning against the wall, watching me. The constant staring was creeping me out even more then the day before. I still couldn't figure out what it was exactly about him that gave me that disturbing feeling, but I was going to follow my gut and stay away from him.

  Reece had provided a temporary physical barrier. I glanced to where I’d seen Colin, but he was gone. Any relief that built in me vanished when I saw him coming towards me.

  It was Jenn that actually saved me. She came skipping up to me just as I reached the classroom door.

  “Hey, Dani. Can I talk to you?” She grabbed my arm and dragged me to the side so we didn't block the door. “Are you really going with Reece to Homecoming?”

  Ah, jealousy. Reece definitely knew how to play the girls.

  “Yeah, but just as friends.”

  “Really? I mean, I know that you...” She gave me a sheepish look and my stomach sank. Apparently, I wasn't doing as good a job at hiding my feelings for him as I'd thought.

  “We're just friends.” I wasn't sure if I was saying it to her, or myself.

  “Good. I mean, okay.” She blushed and shifted her weight to one foot, leaning against a locker. “What are you going to wear?”

  “I don't know. I haven't really thought about it.”

  She straightened abruptly. “What! Dani, the dance is tomorrow and you don't have a dress?”

  “Well, I wasn't planning on going.”

  “Girl, let's go.” She yanked me down the hall.

  “What? I have class.” Despite my words, I didn't resist her pull.

  Jenn rolled her heavily mascara-lined eyes. “If anyone can afford to miss a day of school it's you. You've got a disgustingly high GPA. Come on, we're going shopping.”

  Shopping with Jenn was an experience I'd managed to avoid for the two years I'd known her, but today I followed her willingly. It was that old adage of killing two birds with one stone. Get a dress and evade Colin.

  I'd never been to the mall during a school day before and the quiet was surprising. Roaming through the empty stores was actually relaxing.

  “So, are you sure this whole thing with you and Reece is really just friends?” Jenn glanced at me sideways as she rifled through a rack of dresses.

  “Yeah,” I said, hoping the disappointment didn't show. “The only reason he asked me was because you already had a date.”

  “Trace,” she sighed. “I was waiting for Reece to ask, but I didn't want to go solo if he didn't. I finally just gave up waiting for him.” She pulled a dress out and held it up in front of her, glancing down at herself. “Anyways, Trace is hot and he's already got a scholarship lined up.”

  “He is cute,” I agreed, thinking of his tight brown curls. “Well, he's cute when his mouth is shut.”

  “Oh, he can do some pretty great stuff with his mouth. It's just that talking isn't one of them.” Jenn laughed at her own joke.

  She held up a series of dresses and I shook my head at each one. Frosty pink and vibrant red just weren't me. I wandered around the store, Jenn following behind me, lamenting on Trace's various attributes. I shuffled through a rack and found a beautiful shimmery silver dress.

  Taking it from the rack, I held it up for Jenn's inspection. “What do you think about this one?”

  “It's okay, I guess.” Obviously, subtle wasn't her preference. She had a stack of brilliantly colored gowns thrown over her arm.

  “Don't you have a dress already?” I asked.

  She looked down at the pile. “These are for you to try on.”

  I raised a brow in disbelief.

  “Oh, all right,” she huffed before glancing around to make sure no one was watching, then shoving the dresses on top of the nearest rack.

  I made my way into the change room with my one dress. The soft satin glided over my skin and the fabric gripped my normally nonexistent hips. The dress was cut beautifully. A deep v-neck and thin shoulder straps, the top of the gown hugged my torso while the bottom of the dress flowed loosely to the ground. I stepped out of the dressing room.

  Jenn looked up from a jewelry display to give her opinion. Her jaw dropped, but she didn't say anything. Her continued gaze made me wonder if it looked as horrible as I imagined.

  “So? Does it look okay?”

  “Holy shit, Dani! You need to buy that. Like now!”

  “Are you sure?” I glanced in the mirror, twisting around to see my reflection from all angles.

  I felt like a princess. Standing there, I thought of the last time I'd felt like that, a simple moment of happiness.

  Jace was sitting on the couch, a hockey game playing in the background, Mama was making dinner, and Daddy was out. I couldn't remember where he was, but I was just glad he wasn't there.

  “Come on, Dani!” Jace called.

  I stepped out of my bedroom, Mama's favorite dress dragging behind me as I strutted proudly down the hall. Thick layers of make-up coated my face, doing nothing to disguise the happiness I felt.

  “Cinderella,” Jace said when I entered the room. He stood up and graced me with a low bow. “May I have this dance?” He held his hand out for me.

  I giggled and took the hand he offered. He lifted me onto his feet and began spinning me in circles, before stopping suddenly.

  “Jaaaace, why'd ya stop?”

  “We need music. A princess can't dance without music.” He gazed at me closely, inspecting my face. “You are a princess, aren't you?”

  “I am a princess! But we don't have any music.” The smile slipped from my face.

  He frowned in mock seriousness. “If only we knew someone who could sing.”

  “I can sing! I can sing our song!”

  Jace grinned again and lifted me, throwing me in the air then catching me in a hug. “That's the perfect idea!”


  I hummed the opening lines then began singing. “Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are...” Jace twirled me round the room, and as the last note warbled from my lips, he let me go and kissed my hand, bowing again. I graced him with a deep curtsy.

  Applause came from the direction of the kitchen. I turned and saw Mama grinning as she clapped. I almost couldn't see the purple ring around her eye.

  “Oh, what lovely dancing,” she said. “Just like a fancy ball.”

  The sound of the front door opening had us all tense. Daddy came into the apartment a scowl settled deeply on his face. He threw his keys on the coffee table and looked at us. The scowl disappeared, replaced by a furious sneer.

  “What the hell are you doing?” he said, his voice all too hushed.

  “Dani was just playing,” Jace said as he came to stand behind me. His hands rested heavily on my shoulders. “She wanted to look pretty for you.”

  It was a lie. I didn't want to look pretty for Daddy. I did it for Jace and Mama, but I knew why Jace said it, not that it made any difference. When Daddy was mad, nothing could change his mood.

  “She looks like a goddamn slut.” He spit at us, missing by only a few inches. The glob of white spittle landed on the floor. I pressed back against Jace and his hold tightened. Mama didn't move. I wanted her to step forward. To shield us. She didn't. I wanted to hate her for not protecting us, but I couldn't. She couldn't even protect herself.

  The slamming of a changing room door brought me back to the present sharply and I blinked rapidly to banish the image of Daddy. Jenn was walking around me, tugging at the dress, searching for any imperfections.

  “Should I get it?” I asked.

  “Are you blind? Of course, you should get it. You look amazing!” Jenn stepped behind me and gathered my hair up, exposing my long neck. “You know, I never thought about it before but you would be a perfect model. You're tall enough, and you look hot!” She dropped my hair and gave a laugh. “I have to admit that I never thought I'd be jealous of you!”

  “Thanks. I think.”